


5 times saab fails to propose and the 1 time he succeeds

by ohsoblue



Category: NoPixel
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:01:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27687979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohsoblue/pseuds/ohsoblue
Summary: or alternatively; siz struggles with his insecurities as he waits for saab to just break up with him already
Relationships: Siz Fulker/Al Saab
Kudos: 11





	5 times saab fails to propose and the 1 time he succeeds

**Author's Note:**

> this fic idea hit me like a brick and i just had to write it. featuring chubby siz. also saab and siz are trans.
> 
> there's some nsfw stuff in this fic so if that's not your thing, you've been warned.

I.

Siz has noticed something _off_ about Saab lately. Part of him wonders if he’s thinking about it too much, but so many things start to add up. Namely, the fidgeting. Saab is an active guy, somewhat restless, but it’s very obvious when his fidgeting is because of nervousness. And his hand’s always in his pocket, playing with something. His phone, maybe?

Sometimes Saab will crowd him, appear to bite his tongue, and then trail off to do something else, looking as though he’s scolding himself.

If it’s a breakup, it’s the longest one Siz has ever had to go through. Why can’t he just come out and say what he needs to say? If he’s trying to go about it nicely, then Siz has words for this man. Because no matter how he goes about it, Siz’s heart is sure to break. 

So when Saab asks him on a date and brings him to the canals for a walk, Siz waits patiently for him to speak. All the while he wishes Saab would get to the point because it’s been weeks of this odd behavior and he’s starting to wonder if _he’s_ going to have to be the one to put things to rest.

But…

Siz is a little selfish in this regard. He’d much rather march through a facade than be the one to break things off.

Saab’s going to have to man up. 

Except as they near the end of the date, Saab turns to Siz and stares him deeply in the eyes. Is this it? Is Saab finally going to crush his heart into a million pieces, never to be put back together again?

As it turns out, no. Saab holds his hand for an awkwardly long time, before he smiles awkwardly, and tells him that he looks cute.

Siz can’t help the laugh that bubbles out.

If he’s so cute, then why is Saab going to leave him?

II.

The next date has them in Mirror Park on the island. Siz can’t stress how bad of an idea it is to do a date here if the idea was to have privacy, because it’s not ever going to happen when the H.O.A is around the corner. He can see a few of them, hiding and yet not because he sees them from across the water. 

Saab’s behavior has continued in this next week and Siz predicts that it’ll be their new normal if things keep up. But not here, Saab. Anywhere but here, where the H.O.A can see him fall apart. And he will. He knows he will, because he loves Saab with everything he has, and maybe he doesn’t vocalize that enough? But if that was ever a problem, surely Saab would have confronted him before he decided to leave him?

Why does he keep dragging it out?

Saab grabs his hand, much like he had the week before at the canals, and opens his mouth.

However, before he can say anything, Siz’s radio starts beeping.

The H.O.A are chiming in, saying that the Mirror Park gas station is being robbed again. 

Saab’s mouth closes, something like disappointment flashing through his eyes, but he tells Siz he can go handle it. And like the coward Siz sometimes feels like, he rushes away after kissing Saab’s cheek, fishing a gun out of his pocket.

III.

The date at the pier is peaceful, a much-needed change after the week before. Siz is leaning against the railing, eyes closed as he enjoys the ocean breeze, listening to the waves crash against the shore. It’s a shame that when Saab gets his courage, this place will be ruined for him. Not that he’s had many memories here, but… still.

And then he hears the tiniest splash, like a small pebble hitting the water. Siz turns around to see Saab’s hand frozen over the railing. And that’s when Siz realizes he must have dropped something. 

He opens his mouth to ask about it, but he doesn’t get anything out before Saab is hopping over the railing. Siz watches his boyfriend disappear under the waves, coming up for air every few minutes. If whatever he dropped was that small, Siz doubts he’ll be able to find it. 

“Do you need any help?”

Saab looks up and frantically shakes his head.

“No, I got it!”

Siz gazes at him in doubt and Saab sheepishly sinks in the water again.

When he does manage to find what he lost, he doesn’t tell Siz what it was, only meets him at the stairs to the pier, for a long shameful walk back to their car.

It’s times like these where Siz loves Saab so much, he can barely contain it.

IV.

Siz doesn’t know why Saab would bring him to the Bean Machine so late into the evening, but as they start walking down the busy road, he understands. Saab probably wants the breakup to happen somewhere public, to make sure Siz doesn’t flip out on him or something. Siz wonders when Saab stopped understanding the type of person he was.

If Saab ever wanted to leave, Siz would never find it in himself to hurt him for it.

Siz lifts the coffee Saab bought and takes a sip, letting the beverage warm him up. As he shivers, Saab takes the time to shrug off his jacket, stopping them from walking.

As Saab faces him, he tucks Siz into the jacket and smiles. His mouth opens and his lips move, but a truck comes blazing down the road. Maybe it’s a curse, maybe it’s a blessing, but Siz doesn’t hear anything Saab tried to say.

By the confused expression on Siz’s face, Saab seems to realize that and wilts a little.

Instead of repeating what he was going to say, he grabs Siz’s hand and swings it between them as they walk.

 _‘Why is Saab making this so hard?’_ Siz wonders.

V.

This outing starts like the others. Saab takes Siz up to a remote hill so they can overlook the city as the sun rises before them. They’ve parked quite a long way from their destination, so by the time they get there, they’re both out of breath and more than a little relieved to see a bench.

Siz plants himself onto the bench with a sigh, adjusting his half ponytail. When he peers down the hill, his breath is taken once more; the city is gorgeous and not a total hell pit when the sun is rising. Light reflects off buildings and he can see the ocean just beyond that. He smiles and turns to Saab. He feels his smile fall off his face as Saab is digging through his pockets, looking concerned and frustrated with himself.

“You good?” Siz asks, pulling a leg up to his chest as he adjusts himself on the bench to face his boyfriend.

“Um, yeah,” Saab murmurs, then drops his hands and slumps against the back of the bench, kicking at the dirt. “I just forgot something in the car, it’s not a big deal.”

That sounds more like a lie than anything. Siz wants to say that Saab can talk to him about anything, but would he care? Would he take that as a courage boost? In the end, Siz sits in silence, watching the sunrise. When Saab puts an arm around Siz’s shoulders, he’s too selfish _not_ to lean into his chest.

I.

Siz doesn’t hear the footsteps.

But he hears the sudden intake of air that comes from Saab and he whirls around, hands dropping from his chest, the disgust wiped off his face faster than he could blink.

It’d been a total accident that the bathroom door had been open. And as much hope as Siz holds in his body that Saab hadn’t seen all of that, he knew a lost cause when he saw one. Because while Siz was poking and prodding at his chubby belly and hips, a grimace on his face, Saab watched. 

Siz wonders why he’s here, but that’s a stupid question. He’s always been there for Siz. Even when he might not want to be.

But he sure does hate that he was, if only for him to witness this… this moment of _weakness_. Siz _hates_ it.

“Baby,” Saab struggles to say, voice rough. “Sizzyboo.”

It’s oh so cruel to hear those words from someone too afraid to break up with him.

Siz grips the counter in the bathroom, feeling ashamed. He clenches his jaw and shudders under the feeling of Saab’s hand on his bare shoulder. The hand traces a path down his arm, to his hand, where it’s cupped in a warm palm. Siz gives up trying to hide from his eyes, turning to look at Saab. He’s surprised at the sight of raw emotion, that Saab seems upset and determined all at once.

“If I haven’t been showing you how much I love you,” Saab starts again, leaning in close to press his lips against Siz’s forehead, “then let me try again.”

The refute on his lips is washed away by Saab’s, his tongue dipping between them. Saab steps further into his space, pressing him back into the counter. When he parts, breathing against him, Siz finds himself leaning into Saab for more. He feels Saab grin against him, teeth plucking at his bottom lip. Saab pulls away too soon, trailing kisses from his cheek to his jaw, leaving nips against skin that bruised easily.

“Sometimes I see you wearing those tights jeans, those dark ones, and I have to stop myself from drooling because we’re always in public,” Saab remarks, licking along Siz’s neck, leaving him shaking. He grabs onto Saab’s shoulders for stability. “Or when you have that half-ponytail of yours? And you’re looking down at your phone, so your bangs fall over your face? That’s… fuck, it’s so fucking cute.”

Siz wants so badly to find his words, to tell him to shut up, but whenever he goes to speak, Saab will do something that takes his breath away. If not a kiss, a bite in the right place, it’s him putting his leg between Siz’s hips, pressing against him. Siz tries to resist grinding on his thigh and fails, a whimper caught in his throat when his cock rubs against the fabric of his sweatpants.

“These hips?” Saab places his hands on said parts of him, squeezing them. “Surely you know what these do to me.” 

As if to prove a point, he borrows one of Siz’s hands, pressing it to the front of his baggy jeans, the fabric a little wet.

“And that tummy? Is nothing to be ashamed of, because I adore it,” Saab says, tugging Siz away from the bathroom counter, walking back towards the bedroom. He abruptly turns both of them around so that it’s Siz who falls onto the bed.

“You’re never anything other than sexy in my eyes.” Saab bends down, pressing a kiss to the center of Siz’s chest, lingering as though he’s feeling for Siz’s heartbeat with his lips. No part of him can hide from Saab. 

Saab peels back the band of his sweatpants, kissing a trail to his pelvis, nipping at the skin there. Siz aches the longer Saab dotes on him, eyes burning as he stares up at the ceiling. He can _feel_ the love he pours into every action and it hurts. He lays the back of his arm over his eyes so Saab can’t see him cry.

He feels a breath against his hip, knows Saab caught the motion. He follows Saab’s palm caressing up his side and back down, soothing him. When it becomes clear that Siz is going to continue to hide, he hears a small chuckle, and a kiss is pressed to his now bare thigh, pants falling over the side of the bed. 

“So cute,” Saab murmurs, pressing hot reverent kisses across his thighs, up to where Siz so desperately needs him to be. He startles when Saab flicks his tongue out and across Siz’s cock. He hears himself whine, his hips lifting off the bed. Embarrassed by his needy reaction, Siz’s other hand comes up to help hide his face.

He whimpers low in his throat when Saab’s lips close around his cock, sucking on it. Siz bites his lips against the sounds trying to escape him, but Saab, as always, sees it as a challenge. Two fingers spread him apart. Saab moves away from his cock and goes lower, tongue entering him instead. 

“ _Fuck_ ,” Siz yelps, finally moving his hands away to grab at the sheets. Saab thrusts his tongue as though it’s a dick, eyes locked onto Siz’s face. Siz wishes he’d stop looking so in love when these past few weeks, he’s distanced himself out of Siz’s reach.

Saab pulls away with a slick sound and replaces his tongue with his fingers, slowly teasing him as he drags them against his walls, pressing at his weak spots. 

When it’s too much, Siz resorts to begging but is quieted when Saab presses a kiss to his lips.

“You don’t need to say please, I’ll give you everything you need,” Saab whispers against him. “That’s a promise.”

Siz cums like that, around Saab’s fingers. Saab presses his lips to the wet skin under Siz’s eye. Siz is surprised that he’s weeping quietly, hadn’t even noticed really. He sniffles, closing said weepy eyes when Saab rubs his nose against Siz’s.

“It’s taken me months to get the courage to finally say everything I’ve wanted and each attempt was ruined by something,” Saab says, voice barely above a whisper. Saab wipes his hands on his pants, still dressed. He digs around in the pocket of his jacket, pulling out a small orange velvet box. 

And having seen plenty of those in movies, Siz knows exactly what it contains. And the tears start flowing once more.

“I hope that’s a good reaction,” Saab says, opening the velvet box and showing off a simple gold band. “Do you know how hard it was to find one of these boxes in orange?”

“Yes, it’s good,” Siz laughs, but it turns into a sob as soon as it’s out of his mouth. He ducks his head and tries not to fall apart at the relief he feels inside. Saab kisses his forehead again, taking his hand.

“Sizzyboo, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and that hasn’t changed. Even if you say no, I will always love you. But I do want to marry you. I want a white picket fence with you, I want to start a family with you down the line,” Saab says, swallowing harshly as though he’s trying to stem his own tears. “And if you need time, I will give you time, but it’s killing me not to ask. So… Sizzyboo, will you marry me?”

“Yes, fuck, of course,” Siz says and holds still long enough for Saab to slide the gold band onto his ring finger. Once it’s on, Siz tackles Saab onto the bed and kisses him with every bit of emotion he struggles to vocalize daily. He thinks Saab understands when he grins against his lips.

Well, shit, who feels like a fool? He should have never doubted Saab.

Later, after Siz has returned the favor, they lay in bed, Siz spooned up against Saab, finger tracing over the ring.

He’s never been more relieved to be wrong in his life.


End file.
